Matt Cook is a well known Republican, although he is world renowned for his chronic masturbation, having said that he performs acts "seven times a day." He is also known for having "a successful life," and will some day pray on the proletariat "for their own good."

The Instruction Building Incident Edit

Several eye-witnesses have reported this incident, so what follows is the most accurate accounting of events possible.

In one fateful Mark Quee seminar class, Cook made the request to use the restroom. Quee, well known hater of restrooms, was reported to have quipped "Only if you go outside." Cook, being a lover of literal meanings, interpreted this as an instruction to urinate on the outside of the building. Exiting the classroom, he walked several steps to the side, being in full view of the entire class. Dropping his pants, he proceeded to do his business on the plants outside. This caused a great deal of shock in the class, and making several members go into rehabilitation. Ever since this occurrence, Quee has never allowed another student to go to the restroom in one of his classes.